"...these days with the support and inspiration from many in this Portland community, I actually feel, sit with discomfort, stay with my vulnerability, be with the uneasiness of not having all the answers and not knowing what is going on and let the tears come and go. Sometimes I miss the mark and it is too hard, but I have learned that this too shall pass, and that things are always different after I rest my head."
A few weeks ago, I went to Ace Hardware to get myself a shovel (it's about time) and some energy efficient light bulbs and as always, I am greeted very kindly, and there are always so many folks willing to help me find what I need. During the summer, my business partner and I regularly visited Ace to find paint colors for Roost and get equipment for our painting extravaganza! My business partner enjoyed many bags of their free popcorn that they have there...I, myself, did not indulge, partly because I have a feeling that the popcorn machine is centuries old, and I am a bit picky. We sat at this round table in the paint section, she eating popcorn, me talking about my day, us laughing hysterically about the fact that we were just sitting like we were at a kitchen table in one of our houses just kicking back with conversation and popcorn on a rainy Sunday afternoon about to watch a movie. ONLY in Portland.
It's like I have a blast going to the bank, even when I have no money to deposit and nothing in my account, but I sit down with one of the employees there and just chat about what I did over the weekend, or I go to Staples to get some paper, and a group of employees are having laughs about something related to something, but it's like I am part of their party...ONLY in Portland.
And, I probably could write stories about my many of running intos and conversations in the aisles of Whole Foods. Some wonderful people work at Whole Foods, and I am inspired by many of them. I have definitely been waiting in line to pay with a burrito in hand, tearing, as I drop an avocado on the ground...many of my friends have heard about the times at Whole Foods where I am just tearing up and walking around the aisles...not because I am sad about the fact that there is no organic celery ( I am sad about that these days), but just because I am so much more in touch with my emotions and honestly feel okay if I ran into someone I knew and I was in tears...I used to be a person who held in my emotions all the time and used overeating as a coping mechanism to not feel, but these days with the support and inspiration from many in this Portland community, I actually feel, sit with discomfort, stay with my vulnerability, be with the uneasiness of not having all the answers and not knowing what is going on and let the tears come and go. Sometimes I miss the mark and it is too hard, but I have learned that this too shall pass, and that things are always different after I rest my head.
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